Wonder Woman: The Feelings

[disgruntled_owl]

1. I know this was a “tie things up nicely summer blockbuster superheroine movie,” but I kept wishing that they took a different tack at the end of the second act. When Diana discovers that Ludendorff wasn’t the avatar of Ares after all, it looked like the movie was about to take an interesting turn into how human beings actually fight wars, and how military strategy is an important complement to combat skills. Diana seemed to be fixated on individual fights throughout the movie, as much as Steve tried to convince her that they had to play a long game. But, no, instead they turned it into “your God of War is in another castle.” Which is fine, I guess, but it felt like a missed opportunity.
2. On a related note, I’m not one for crossovers, but I would be cool with an alternate universe where Wonder Woman meets Aldo Rayne or Hans Landa from Inglorious Basterds and gets a crash course in "how to end the war tonight.” Maybe I’ll write that fic one day.
3. Diana is a badass on the battlefield and all, but when watching her in those scenes I couldn’t help but think of Dr. Manhattan stomping and laser-eye-roasting his way through the jungles of Vietnam. I guess that’s the Zach Synder touch...
4. I have to hand it to the writers of this movie: the protagonists, regardless of complexity or place in the story hierarchy, were super likeable.
5. I don’t know that I could have watched 2.5 hours of Gal Gadot by herself, but Gal Gadot + Chris Pine definitely worked for me.
6. The Chief and Samir both made it to the end of the movie! YAAAAAAY.
7. I know this wasn't the point of the movie, but I would have watched another 2 hours of Wonder Woman shopping with Etta Candy. Etta Candy forever.
8. I would like to know more about Dr. Maru’s magic cocaine, which Ludendorff was snorting the whole movie.
9. Also, the two of them fumigated a huge chunk of the German High Command and were still allowed to have a party a day and a half later. They probably should have been grounded a little bit.
10. There had to have been some really intense moustache negotiations between Warner Brothers and Remus Lupin.

-“We need you to turn into Ares at the end of the movie. We’re gonna need you to lose the

moustache.”

- “No.”

- “We’ll give you another $500,000.”

- “Still no.”

- “It’s going to look really ridiculous under the helmet.”

- “No, and go screw yourself.”